Snapshots
by ssjx7squall
Summary: Shiznat ATC. The stories of their lives together and apart but mostly together from after the carnival on. Full Summary inside. The new chapter is actually Chapter 3...
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Sorry to the readers of my other stories but this one has been in my head for a long time and i thought i might as well get all my ideas out there so im free to work on them all. As for what this story is going to be... Each chapter is going to be a "snapshot" of Natsuki and Shizuru's lives. A LOT is going to be vauge, and usually if a question is not answered in a chapter (such as one in this one) it wont be answered, sorry but thats part of how this is going to go. The jumps between chapters can be anywhere from a day to years. Unlike my other stories this one is pretty much completely planned out. Anyways tell me what you think, and NO not all of my chapters will be angst...Jeez who do you think i am...

ssjx7squall

Also please check out the poll on my profile, i do need answers 

* * *

"Are you sure you still want to come? You sound tired?" a concerned Natsuki asked.

"Of course! After all it's been so long since I last got to see my Natsuki." came Shizuru's cheerful voice over the phone.

_And whose fault is that?_ Natsuki thought bitterly. "You sure?"

"Ara, I'm beginning to think that Natsuki doesn't want to see me."

Natsuki winced. "No! That's not it, you just sounded tired and- ug!" she stopped when she heard Shizuru giggling. "I really wish you wouldn't do that!"

Shizuru giggled a while longer before answering. "Forgive me Natsuki, but I couldn't help myself."

_Sure you couldn't. _Natsuki growled to herself. "Whatever. Well I'll be over in about an hour then."

"I can't wait." Was the other's reply.

Sighing Natsuki closed her phone with a snap. Turning her back to the wall she was facing she leaned against it sliding down a few inches. Looking at her phone she drifted off into thought. _How long has it been? A few months? Well, she has been avoi- No. I've been avoiding her too. All those times she called and wanted to get lunch and I always said I was busy knowing I wasn't._

Sliding all the way down to the floor she grunted when her bottom made contact with the hard tile. _It wouldn't bug me if I just knew why. Why am I avoiding her? I want to see her so bad but… What?_ Burying her head in her hands she began to shake it from side to side in frustration. _Gah! This wouldn't bug me so damn much if I only knew why._

Raising her head she brought it back against the wall with an audible thump. _She was avoiding me for the first month or two, but after that it's been all me. _She began lightly banging the back of her against the wall. _Why have I pushed her away so damn much? This is ridiculous! I have wanted to see her so many times but never went to see her or accepted her invitations and now that Mai is doin' this damn Hime party thing, and this is the one time Shizuru is tired. I always make her force her self in one way or another._ Letting out a loud breath of air she dropped her head. "I'm such a shitty friend." She said the empty apartment. _I really have missed her though._

* * *

Shizuru fell back onto the couch as her phone call with Natsuki ended. Smiling down at the phone in her hand she idly stroked its side with her thumb. She was so excited. After so many months she would finally be able to see her Natsuki again!

She frowned slightly as she remembered the past few months without her blue haired friend. After she had graduated Shizuru immediately attempted to break her ties from Natsuki for her friend's sake. Memories and nightmares of the events that happened during the Festival still haunted Shizuru. No matter how many times Natsuki said that she was forgiven and that it didn't matter, Shizuru still felt guilty. Every time she looked into Natsuki's eyes or hugged the girl, the memories would bubble to the surface and she would recoil from her friend. She could not count the times she cried her self to sleep, begging forgiveness from her dark bedroom for her actions.

It wasn't what she had done to First District, no. She would burn the world if it meant keeping Natsuki safe. It was what she had done to her that constantly tormented her. Lying awake in bed at night she would toss and turn, constantly being taunted by her subconscious about how she had betrayed her friends trust.

It was for these reasons that she attempted to create a barrier between her and Natsuki. She had expected it to be hard for her but what she hadn't expected was the resistance from Natsuki.

Every time she managed to put a little bit of distance between them, Natsuki would immediately close it and Shizuru found her self to weak to stop her. This isn't to say that they grew much closer than they already were but for the first time in a while they were actually comfortable around each other.

For the time in between the school years they spent a wonderful amount of time together until _that_ night.

Shizuru shook her head banishing her thoughts. Returning her gaze to her phone she saw that she only had thirty minutes until Natsuki would arrive. Less in fact if Natsuki's habits hadn't changed at all. The blue haired girl always had a habit of showing up early.

Smiling again Shizuru stood, and only then realized just how tired she really was. All her exhaustion from the past few days seemed to finally be catching up with her. On top of having to attend all the student council meetings at her university, she also had to deal with all the paper work involved as well as her homework from her classes. Usually this wouldn't have been a problem but it was nearing the end of the semester and finals were coming up so she had to spend that much more time studying leaving very little room in her schedule for sleep.

Her excitement at seeing Natsuki had kept her from feeling the full affects of her fatigue but now it seemed to be settling in. Holding on to objects in her path she slowly made her way to her bedroom to get ready.

* * *

"Oh shut the hell up Nao!" Natsuki yelled stepping out of the dressing room. She had just butchered some annoying pop song and Nao hadn't stopped laughing since she first began. Well, it probably wasn't her singing that got the annoying red head laughing so much as the really girly frilly outfit Natsuki got stuck wearing while she sang the song.

"Oh, this is just too great!" Nao said slapping her knee. Wiping a tear away from her eye she was still chuckling. "Who knew that Kuga could look so much like a little girl?" She started laughing again when she saw the expression on Natsuki's face.

"Why you bit-"

"Nao!" Mai said loudly, cutting Natsuki off. "It's your turn." 

All the color drained from Nao's face. "No way!"

"Ha!" Natsuki said as Mai began pushing a screaming Nao into the dressing room.

"I thought Natsuki sang very well." Shizuru said as Natsuki plopped down next to her on the couch.

Natsuki merely grumbled. "I hate karaoke." Crossing her arms she leaned back into the seat, not noticing that her and Shizuru's shoulders were touching. "I'm just glad that Mai doesn't pull these "Hime Parties" more often."

"Ara, but if she didn't I wouldn't get to see my Natsuki then." Shizuru said nudging her arm. Natsuki began to splutter in protest. "Besides, you look so cute wearing dresses."

This time Natsuki's face lit up in a bright red. "Ba-Baka!" Turning her head away from Shizuru she began to pout.

Said girl merely covered her mouth with one hand as she giggled quietly. _Ara, I've missed seeing her blush so much. _Her giggling slowed and a sad expression grew on her face, her eyes looking far off into the distance.

Mai caught this and questioned her about it. "Kaichou-sama? Is something wrong?"

Natsuki's head snapped back to look at Shizuru, worry evident on her face.

Shizuru looked up at Mai slightly surprised before quickly covering it up with a smile. Waving one hand she said, "Ara, nothing Mai-san. And how many times to I have to tell you I am no longer the Kaichou?" 

"Hai!" Mai said before returning her attention to the now singing and blushing Nao.

"You sure you're ok?" Shizuru looked to her left to see a concerned Natsuki. "I know you're tired, do you need to go?"

There are many times where Shizuru finds it impossible to not tease Natsuki, especially when the girl's sweet side presents itself, but every so often she finds the will to restrain herself. "I'm quite alright. Yes I am a little tired but not enough to go home, besides I want to spend more time with my Natsuki." To emphasize this she nudged her again.

Natsuki didn't look so convinced. "You sure?"

Shizuru turned to her. Natsuki was shocked by what she saw in her eyes. The playfulness that was in them just moments ago was gone and was replaced by… pleading. "Please Natsuki. I would like to stay a bit longer." Gripping the younger girls arm in calm desperation, the great Shizuru Fujino was indeed pleading.

"O-ok…" Natsuki stuttered. The only times she had ever seen Shizuru's eyes like that before were when Natsuki would catch her crying and Shizuru would apologize for everything she had done. _Damn it! What did I do?_ Shaking her head Natsuki was now berating her self for hurting her friend. _I wish I knew what I could do for her._

Not realizing it she placed her hand on Shizuru's and gripped it tightly. Shizuru's eyes widened in surprise. _Natsuki?_ Looking at her friend she saw that her attention was now on Nao, but her hand hadn't moved. And the expression on her face wasn't that of humor like it usually was when the red head sang, but that of anger and a but of…. What was it? _Pain._ Shizuru concluded. _Why Natsuki? Why are you hurting now, is it because of me?_

The party progressed and after a while everyone had sung except for Shizuru oddly enough who managed to avoid the stage and dressing room. A few like Midori and Youko were quite drunk by the time they made it to their third round of singing.

It was while a very loud and off key Midori was singing that Natsuki felt a sudden weight on her right shoulder. Looking down she saw the top of her friends head. "Shizuru?" Leaning forward a bit she saw that the Kaichou's eyes were closed. Somehow, despite all the noise she fell asleep. Natsuki shook her head. "See? You were tired, you shouldn't have come."

Leaning back she sighed. _You always force your self for me. I still don't know why you want to be around me so bad. _Looking down she saw that Shizuru's hand still gripped her arm, and that her hand was covering the others. Her eyes widened in surprise. _When did that get there?_ Suddenly very conscious of her hand and the close contact between her and Shizuru, Natsuki gulped.

Before she knew what she was doing her thumb began stroking the side of Shizuru's hand. _Her hand is so soft- wait! What am I doing?_ Shaking her head Natsuki withdrew her hand.

_This is ridiculous. I want to touch her but I still pull back. Why the hell am I so screwed up?_ Her face showing grim determination Natsuki nodded to her self before stiffly moving her arm. Her arm was now wrapped around Shizuru going across her back and wrapping around her waist.

Natsuki felt a sudden warmth spread throughout her chest as she pulled the sleeping Kaichou closer to her. _That wasn't so ba-_ Looking up she caught Mai staring at her, mouth agape. "What are you looking at!?" she quietly barked.

Mai blinked a few times before shaking her head. "No-Nothing!" Returning her gaze to the stage she giggled slightly.

Natsuki merely growled and settled back in the seat, enjoying the contact between her and Shizuru. "Nat-su-ki…" 

Looking down at the sleeping girl Natsuki smiled. Raising her other hand she began to brush a few hairs out of the Shizuru's face. _You are so beautiful. I wonder why I never realized it before. I owe you so much Shizuru._

"Oi Kuga!" Nao's loud voice brought her out of her thoughts. "It's your turn."

"I can't." Natsuki simply said not taking her eyes off Shizuru.

"Oh no you don't, I had to go up three times and so do you!" Nao said. "Don't think that just because she's sleeping on you that you can get awa-"

"Nao why don't you go again?" Mai interrupted. "Natsuki can just sing an extra time next time."

Natsuki gave an appreciative look to Mai who just smiled in return. Nao just sat there with her mouth hanging open. "No- No way! Come on Kug-"

"Oh come on Nao-chaaaaan" A very drunk Midori said hugging the red head. "Let's sing a duet!"

Everyone began laughing as Midori shoved Nao into the dressing room and followed shortly after. Everyone except for three people. Nao was cursing everyone as she slowly got changed while Shizuru was sleeping. Natsuki was to busy gazing upon Shizuru's sleeping face to care about much else.

* * *

Natsuki grunted slightly as she laid a sleeping Shizuru in the backseat of Mai's car.

"She was really tired wasn't she?" the red head said looking into the back seat.

"Yeah, she's been pushing herself really hard in school this semester." Natsuki said, brushing some hairs out of the sleeping Kaichou's face.

"I thought you guys hadn't been talking…" Mai said as Natsuki got into the car.

Quietly closing the door Natsuki sighed. "We've been talking, but just over the phone. It's been a few months since we last saw each other."

Starting the car, Mai slowly pulled out of the dark parking lot. "I think she really wanted to see you tonight."

Glancing into the backseat Natsuki sighed. "Yeah. Even knowing how tired she was she still came out."

"I heard she is pretty high up on the student council at the university already. That's pretty good for a freshman." 

"Yeah…" Natsuki smiled contently. "She really is amazing isn't she?"

Mai glanced over at her friend. She had never seen her like this before, so calm and peaceful. Or… She really didn't know how to explain it, but it had to do with the way Natsuki talked about the Kaichou. Her voice took on a softer tone and her eyes changed completely.

"But I guess even she gets tired." Pulled from her thoughts Mai watched as Natsuki reached into the back seat to brush aside more of Shizuru's hair.

"Yeah… You know, I could have rescheduled this party…"

"No, it's fine. I have a feeling this would have happened eventually anyways."

Mai glanced back over at Natsuki. "What would have happened?"

Natsuki shook her head. _She would have pushed her self too far for me. _"Nothing…"

Mai's breaks screeched a bit as she came to a stop in front of the Fuka University dorms. Getting out of the car Natsuki said, "You should get those checked Mai."

"Oh shut up, we don't all have money you know!" 

Chuckling slightly Natsuki picked up Shizuru. "I'll be right back."

"Yeah yeah." Mai said before turning on the radio.

Kicking the door closed Natsuki made her way to Shizuru's dorm. "You just had to live on the second floor didn't you?" Natsuki said accusingly as she started up the stairs. Shizuru merely mumbled something unintelligible in her sleep, burying her head deeper into Natsuki's chest.

With great difficulty Natsuki managed to get them into Shizuru's dorm. Upon entering she smiled. While she had always known where her friend's dorm was (she had made many trips there) she had never been inside it.

Shizuru's dorm was just like her old apartment, spotless. Everything had its place, books alphabetized on shelves, clean carpets, nothing on the floor. It was about as opposite from her own apartment as you could get.

She inhaled deeply. It smelled like Shizuru, that and green tea. _Always knew she was addicted, _she thought smirking. _And she always got on me for my mayonnaise. _

Shizuru stirring pulled her from her thoughts. "Let's get you to bed." She said looking down at the sleeping girl in her arms.

After a few minutes of searching she found the bedroom, she was shocked by what she saw. By the closet there was a chair that must have had six to eight different outfits carelessly thrown on it. _That's not like her… Don't tell me she…_ _Oh Shizuru I'm sorry. _

Making her way to the bed she laid Shizuru down on it. Making sure that she was covered Natsuki sat down next to her. Brushing the girl's hair she smiled sadly. "I promise Shizuru from now on things will be different."

She was about to get up when something caught her eye. On the nightstand next to the bed was a picture of them. Smiling she picked it up, unconsciously stroking the edges of the frame as she allowed the memories the picture brought wash over her.

After a few minutes she set the picture down then glanced over at Shizuru. "I promise…" Turning around she began to leave the room before a voice stopped her.

"Natsuki!"

"Shizuru?" Turning around Natsuki quickly made her way back to the bed. "Shizuru what's wrong?"

She was surprised to find that Shizuru was still asleep but she was now trashing about. 

"Natsuki! I'm so sorry!" 

_She sounds like she's crying._ A pain lanced out from Natsuki's chest every time she heard her friend apologize. _No more. Please don't cry anymore._

Lying down next to Shizuru, Natsuki pulled her into a tight hug. "Shhh. It's ok Shizuru. It's ok."

The contact seemed to calm the other girl a bit but she was still crying in her sleep. "I'm so sorry Natsuki. Please don't go!"

Natsuki winced. _There's no way I'm leaving her again. _"Shh Shizuru, I'm not going anywhere. Shh…"

Her phone started to vibrate in her pocket. _Of all the damn times…_

"Hi Mai, listen just go on without me, I'll pick up my bike tomorrow"

"What's wrong Natsuki?"

"Nothing, just go, it's alright."

Closing her phone she slipped it back into her pocket then returned her attention to Shizuru. Holding her close she began to stroke her hair. "Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere Shizuru."

_All I do is hurt you when you do so much for me. _Tears were starting to form in _her_ eyes. She tightened her hug on Shizuru. _I care about you so much you baka, I just don't get why you care so much about me. _

* * *

A/N: I am going to stop saying that chapters arent turning out the way i originally intended because thats pretty much every chapter. I have to apologize for the last part of this chapter i realize it is bad but i needed it written and we all know dialouge is NOT my strength. Well i hope you enjoyed this chapter let me know what you think. 


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Well it seems like this story was very well accepted so i decided to get to work immediatly on a second chapter jsut to keep you guys interested. I am sory to say that the end of this chapter is very rushed but the next one should be better. I would like to thank EVERYONE for their reviews i got some of the longest ones i have ever recieved last chapter. I hope you enjoy this one as well :)

Again if you are familier with my writing you know i dont reread it but i spell check it so sorry for the large amount of gramatical errors that are sure to be in this chapter as well

ssjx7squall

P.S: Please check the poll on my profile page

P.S.S: I am currently working on a chapter for Together Forever and Abandonment, the latter wont be out for a while because i want that chapter perfect, but just letting you know that they are in the works.

"YOU WHAT

"YOU WHAT!" Birds took flight from trees and people stopped to stare as Mai yelled at the top of her lungs.

Gripping the back of her head Natsuki looked down at the sidewalk. "I know I know… I've screwed up haven't I? She was just beginning to be happy again too." It sounded like she was talking to her self more than Mai.

"I knew you two got closer after that Hime Party but…" Glancing around from side to side to make sure no one was listening she lowered her voice. "You kissed her!?"

Natsuki flinched slightly while slowly raising her head, just barely catching Mai's eyes she nodded.

The red head just stood there with her mouth open for a few seconds. "So **that's** why she's been coming here for the past week?"

Natsuki's gaze was once again focused on the sidewalk. "Yeah…"

"Don't you think you should talk to her about it?"

"And say what!?" Natsuki's eyes were beginning to tear up and her voice crack. "It was an accident? I had no idea what the hell I was doing? No." Her hair whipped from side to side as she shook her head. "All I do is hurt her."

Mai just stood there looking at her friend not quite sure what to say. It had been a little over a month since the Hime Party where Shizuru had fallen asleep and she had had to drive her and Natsuki home. She had been surprised when Natsuki told her to leave but in a way she had sort of expected it. She really didn't know what all occurred during the Festival between the two and after Natsuki's reaction when she asked once she wasn't about to again. All she knew was that Shizuru felt guilty over something that had happened between them. It was odd but she didn't seem to feel all that sorry for her actions towards the rest of them but when it came to Natsuki she was wounded deeply.

Mai always knew that Natsuki and Shizuru had a close friendship, even before her and Natsuki became friends it was obvious that they were extremely close. _Well, as close as anyone can get to Natsuki…_

During the few months prior to the last party, when Natsuki had not been seeing Shizuru, she clamped up, avoiding any and all contact with others. She threw her self into her school work, trying to avoid facing her emotions was Mai's guess. But when she was told about the party and to invite Shizuru her face lit up for the first time in month's and surprised Mai by acting like a giddy girl. It was at that time that Mai's suspicions about the twos relationship took a new form.

After the party Natsuki changed again, scaring everyone who knew her with smiles and laughs. She began to spend more time with Shizuru and it was obvious to everyone else that this was the reason for her "cheerier" attitude. Every time the "group" would go out Natsuki would ask if she could invite Shizuru, usually with a slight blush on her face. Nao of course always teased her about this but instead of withdrawing like she usually would when it came to such things, Natsuki stood her ground.

It seemed to Mai that Natsuki was going out of her way to spend time with the ex-Kaichou. All in all she was happy to see her friend so happy but couldn't help but wonder why the brunette had such an affect on her.

Now however all the suspicions that had once floated in the back of her mind came to the surface with this development.

"Did-" Mai gulped before continuing. "Did you mean to?"

Natsuki looked up at Mai with tears streaming down her face. "I- I don't know."

Mai opened her mouth about to speak when something caught her eye. A group of girls were crowded around someone who was headed in their direction. "Natsuki… Shizuru's coming."

Terror filled Natsuki's eyes. "What! Where-" Turning around she saw the crowd approaching and immediately dove into the bushes off the path.

"Natsuki! What are you doing?" Mai angrily whispered.

"Hiding, tell her you haven't seen me." Came the blue haired girl's voice from the now disheveled plant."

Looking up Mai saw that Shizuru was politely dismissing her fan-club and was now heading towards her. "You can't avoid her fore- Hi Shizuru-san!" Mai quickly covered.

"Good morning Mai-san, have you seen Natsuki?"

Mai was surprised by the hint of desperation in Shizuru's voice as well as her slightly disheveled appearance.

"No I haven't Kaichou." She lied, mentally wincing.

"Oh, ok." Again, Mai was surprised to hear disappointment in her voice. "Um-" Mai's jaw dropped. _Did she just say "um?" Wow, Natsuki…_ "Could you please tell her that I am sorry? And that-" Shizuru seemed to be fighting with her self. "That is if she will see me, I would like to talk to her."

It took all of Mai's self control not to drop her jaw and just stare at Shizuru. _Wow Natsuki you have quite an effect on her don't you._ Forcing a cheerful smile on her face Mai said, "Of course, I'll let her know the next time I see her. I hope nothing is really wrong?"

"No" Shizuru shook her head. "Thank you Mai-san."

With that she turned and walked away and was almost immediately swarmed by her fan club. Sighing Mai looked at the bush her friend was hiding in. "You really should see her…"

Natsuki slowly emerged from the now heavily damaged plant with a guilty expression on her face. "I know… I can't believe she blames herself…" Her fists tightened and she began to shake slightly

"Natsuki…" Not knowing how to help her friend Mai merely put a consoling hand on her shoulder. "Go see her. For her sake if for anything."

The biker nodded before slowly walking away, shoulders slumped and feet dragging. _And for yours…_

_

* * *

_

This is ridiculous!

Natsuki mentally berated herself as she sped down city streets on her bike. _I said I wouldn't leave her anymore and that's just what I've done. Damn it!" _The bike roared as she pulled back on the throttle and accelerated. _This is the last damn time I do this to her!_

Coming to a halt in the dorm parking lot Natsuki ripped off her helmet and purposefully marched up the stairs towards Shizuru's room. _This is the last time._ Stopping in front of Shizuru's door she raised her hand and knocked. _Wait a minute… Oh crap what the hell am I going to say to her?_ _Gah!_ Grabbing her head she began to shake it. _I am so freakin stupid!_

After a few moments of waiting the door still hadn't opened. _Maybe she's not here?_ Natsuki thought with equal parts relief and disappointment. Turning her back to the door she began to walk away. _I guess I'll just have to catch her the next time she comes to the-_

"Natsuki?"

Said girl stopped in her tracks and slowly turned to see Shizuru standing there, disbelief and panic in her eyes.

_Don't look like that please. _Natsuki mentally pleaded. _This was the last time._ Nodding to herself Natsuki took a step toward her friend raising a hand in greeting.


	3. Snippet

A/N: Ok here is the chapter i promised. First off this is what happened between Natsuki and shizuru that caused the events in chapter 2... Second off i would just like to ask you guys a favor, i feel that my writing has changed dramatically and not for the better, i hope you guys will be completely honest in letting me know.

ssjx7squall

* * *

Natsuki fidgeted as she stood outside a familiar door

Natsuki fidgeted as she stood outside a familiar door. Setting down her helmet and moving the package she held from hand to hand she tried to catch a good reflection of herself in the brass light next to the door. "Damn helmet, I should have taken the bus."

Running fingers through her hair in a vain attempt to straighten out the strands of hair that were now standing out at odd angles. Sighing she bowed her head in defeat. _AH! Why the hell do I care anyways? This is so stupid, I've never done this before, why the hell am I doing it now._

Looking down at her clothes she began to pull on her black sweater trying to get all the wrinkles out. _I can't remember the last time I dressed up._ Indeed she had, looking down at herself she was wearing her best pair of jeans and shoes. Not really the best for riding a motorcycle but still Shizuru had told her that she looked good in them once. _Knowing her though it probably wouldn't matter._ As for her upper half she decided to go simple and wore one of her favorite black sweaters. And to top it all off she spent a great deal of time on her hair trying to get it just right but had only realized the futility of her actions after she had already arrived and taken off her helmet.

Gritting her teeth she knocked on the door before leaning over to pick up her helmet. _God I hope she's here, I'm going to look like such an ass. Why the hell do I feel so nervous? This isn't the first time I've come to her place or…_ She glanced down at the package in her hand. _I hope it fits I uh…_

She stopped and suddenly stood straight when she heard latches on the door being pulled back. _Here goes nothing…_

As the door opened she released a breath she didn't know she had been holding.

"Natsuki?"

"H-Hi Shizuru!"

"Ara? What is Natsuki doing here?" Shizuru said as she stepped aside to let Natsuki in.

"Here." Natsuki said gruffly shoving the package in her hands towards Shizuru without looking at her.

Making her way into the kitchen Natsuki set her helmet down on the table before sitting down herself. Once she did her eyes began to bulge from her head as she looked at the enormous pile of letters and small packages on the table. Each had the same name carefully written across them. _Shizuru._

"Shizuru, what the hell are these?" Natsuki asked as Shizuru walked into the kitchen her trademark surprised look still on her face.

"Ara? Oh, those? Apparently word got out about my birthday at the university."

"Oh…" Natsuki said slightly deflated.

Looking up she noticed that Shizuru was fingering the package she had given her a curious look on her face. "Oh uh, happy birthday." She said trying to sound dismissive while she looked away, but the way her eyes went back and forth between Shizuru and the package betrayed her nervousness.

"Ara?"

"Just open it already…" Natsuki said her voice coming out harsher than she intended.

Shizuru looked up at her as if she had just suggested an atrocity. Slowly running her fingers over it she spoke, her voice low. "But, Natsuki took such care in wrapping it."

"Not really" she lied.

Shizuru looked up at Natsuki with her usual penetrating gaze. "Thank you Natsuki."

The blue haired girl held her breath as Shizuru carefully began to unwrap the package. Making sure she didn't tear the paper the brunette pulled each piece of tape off and carefully unfolded the paper until finally the box it covered was revealed.

The box was white in color and gave nothing away as to where it came from but it was one of those boxes that lead one to believe an article of clothing lay inside.

"It's not lingerie if that's what you're thinking." Natsuki said with a sheepish smile.

Shizuru merely gave a weak smile before slowly removing the top of the box, her breath catching as what lay within was revealed. "Oh Natsuki," she said pulling up dark red sweater. "You shouldn't have."

Natsuki smiled as she saw genuine shock and happiness spread across her friends face. "I remembered how much you liked it and- Oi! You don't have to put it on now!" she said standing slightly arm outstretched as Shizuru pulled the dark read sweater over her head.

"Thank you Natsuki!" Shizuru nearly squealed as she ran her hands over the soft material. She then took a step forward and opened her arms as if to hug the other girl but hesitated. Natsuki flinched, not at the possibility of the hug but at the other girl's hesitation.

Not really knowing what to say she just opened her arms to Shizuru offering a hug of her own to which Shizuru quickly stepped into.

"Happy Birthday Shizuru." Natsuki said leaning her head into Shizuru's chest, pulling the other girl closer.

"Thank you Natsuki. Thank you." Shizuru leaned her head against the top of Natsuki's and began slowly stroking her hair.

Natsuki leaned her head more into Shizuru, smiling at her friend's apparent happiness. She began to listen to her friends steady heartbeat, inhaling deeply she took in the smell of the sweater and Shizuru.

As soon as Shizuru had made contact warmth erupted in the middle of Natsuki's chest, slowly overwhelming her. This always happened every time she hugged Shizuru, it was always terrifying, and yet at the same time calming. It relaxed her, made her feel safe and…_loved?_

Lately Natsuki had felt her feelings for Shizuru grow, it had started off slow first with small urges for physical contact than it began to grow quickly to where all she wanted was to be hugged by the other girl. It terrified her, someone having such a strong effect on her and yet she had come to realize that Shizuru had always affected her in this way only in smaller degrees.

Now being tightly embraced by Shizuru she could help but be overtaken by the other girl. Her smell, the feel of her and her warmth. Every time her hand would run through her hair she would almost purr, she began to lean more and more into Shizuru.

_God, how I love you Shizuru._ She thought, not realizing what she had just admitted as she inhaled deeply.

She was torn from reverie when she felt Shizuru tremble slightly as she released a shuddering breath.

She suddenly pushed Shizuru to arms length and looked up at her. She was shocked to see that tears were streaming down her friends face. "Shizuru! What's wrong!?"

"No-no-thing Natsuki," Shizuru said trying to stop the slow of tears with her hands. "I'm just-so happy. "

"Shizuru," Natsuki stood. "Please don't cry"

"I'm sorry- I just couldn't stop." Shizuru said slightly trembling.

Natsuki pulled her into another hug. "Please," She pulled her closer. "Stop crying Shizuru, what ever I did I'm sorry." Her voice was pleading and she was beginning to feel a familiar burning in her eyes. _I came here to make her happy and I made her cry, all I ever do is hurt her._

Shizuru began to shake her head, "It's not Natsuki's fault."

The tears finally broke free from Natsuki's eyes as she heard Shizuru's lie. _Please don't lie to me._

Pulling away slightly she tried to look at Shizuru's face but the older girl had her head bowed. Natsuki gently cupped Shizuru's chin and raised the other girl's eyes to meet her own.

_I'm so sorry Shizuru, this was supposed to be a happy day for you and naturally I found a way to fuck it up, just like always._

Without realizing it she had begun to stare into Shizuru's eyes. _I just wish there was something I could do for you._

Unconsciously she began to lean forward. She watched as Shizuru's eyes widened in surprise. Then she felt their lips touch, and the world shifted.

The heat that she had once thought was so overwhelming before erupted and became something completely incomparable with what she had felt before. She vaguely heard herself moan as she leaned more into Shizuru. Without realizing what was japanning her tongue left her mouth in search of something. When it came into contact with Shizuru's lips, she moaned and eagerly accepted it with her own answering it.

Natsuki began to push Shizuru back on to the table and the older girl sat down, wrapped her arms around Natsuki's neck pulling her closer.

It was at this point that Natsuki began to slowly return to consciousness. With all the emotions and feelings that were coursing through her at this point a new one began to creep in. Slowly at first but then it began to match the warmth that was flowing through her.

Her eyes snapped open and she began to slowly withdraw from Shizuru. She watched as the brunette opened her eyes as if coming out of a trance and the realization of what she had just done hit her. _Oh my god! What the hell have I done._

She immediately grabbed her helmet off the table and quickly made her way for the door. "Natsuki?" she heard Shizuru call out behind her, her voice far away as if she hadn't yet come out of her dazed state.

"Natsuki!" This time her voice was slightly more coherent but panic laced it.

The blue haired girl ignored it as she was filled with her own sense of panic and was now racing for the door.

"Natsuki! Please wait! I'm sorry! It was an accident! Please!" Shizuru cried jumping from the table and racing after Natsuki.

Natsuki was already out the door and almost running for her bike when Shizuru called out as she fell to her knees, "I didn't mean to Natsuki! Please! I'm so sorry!"

Natsuki growled to herself as she made it to her bike, she didn't have to see Shizuru to know that she was crying again, the desperation in her voice said it all.

Jumping on her bike and slamming her helmet down on her head she quickly thought about what she had done. _What the hell did I just do? I was trying to make her happy, to make her feel better and-and I… All I fucking do is hurt her!_

Her scream was drowned out by the roaring of her bike as she burned rubber before riding away.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Ok i got this chapter out, it was originally going to be longer but i think the next chapter will include what i was going to stick on to the end of this. Unfortunatly i just wasnt emotionally into it and thats why this seems kind of dry and why i wanted to leave off the very emotional last part of this for the next chapter. Oh, unlike other authors here im fueled by story updates not so much reviews (though i love those too) so if you got a story UPDATE IT, and if your a reader and you have a favorite story REVIEW it. Some say there is nothing sadder than a story untold, while i agree i think a story unfinished is just as sad.

**7/16/2008: The new chapter is actually chapter three, since people wanted to know what happened between natsuki and shizuru, chapter three reveals what that is.**

Bad one: Sorry, but if you complain enough I actually have the idea planned out for that scene :) lol

EisWulf: I know i felt really bad for her too

Swarm012: She will, eventually...

Keiko-chan2000: Ha well that will be touched upon later on

Bleeding Hopes: lol isnt she always

Naxor: To tell you the truth i dont think shizuru unless extremely inebriated could ever even look at someone else. And yes, you are crazy but thats not a bad thing lol :)

chatterbox-hikaru13: Yeah, i my self was kinda going OUCh when i wrote that. Lol ya im glad you liked that Mai shizuru scene.

Silverstri: Ya Natsuki did it. Ha as i said to bad one, you guys complain enough ill write it. And i am really glad you are enjoying my story

To everyone else a GREAT BIG THANK YOU and one BIG APOLOGY for taking so long to update. Without further ado chapter 3

* * *

"Oi, Kuga!" Natsuki vaguely heard someone yell through the din of the crowded college courtyard before she was pulled from her thoughts by a chip bag colliding with her face.

"What the hell do you want!" the blue haired girl yelled angrily throwing the bag back at the red head across from her, who merely leaned to the right as the bag sailed over her shoulder.

"Besides listening to me?" Nao said, an annoyed look on her face. "Stop fucking zoning out!" The red head scoffed leaning back in her chair and propping her leg up on the table. Taking a sip from her coffee she looked over questioningly at her friend.

Absentmindedly scoffing Natsuki turned her own up with her left hand while gazing out into the crowded courtyard. They were currently sitting outside one of the many café's, restaurants and small stores circled a small garden located in the middle of Fuka University's campus. Other students walked back and forth to the different areas each caught up in their own little world and conversations, their own lives.

Natsuki sighed slightly.

She was once again snapped from her thoughts when a rolled up napkin hit her in the face. "Damn it what the fuck!" she yelled again glaring at Nao and receiving odd looks from passerby and others sitting near them.

"That's what I mean!" Nao said raising her arm as if presenting a point. "You zone out at the drop of a hat."

"What the hell does it matter to you!" the blue haired girl barked back.

"Well when I ditch school to come and visit you I expect at least a little bit of conversation."

"I didn't ask you to come…" Natsuki said taking a drink from her cup before once again staring into the throng of students.

Nao hid her scowl and stifled her growl behind her cup. _But Mai did damn it… _"Yeah well…" she said trying to find some excuse but she needant have bothered; Natsuki was zoned out again.

Nao sighed. _This is getting really old really fast. _Taking another long drink from her cup she too stared out into the crowd. Silence settled upon their small table but not on the courtyard as students continued to crowd it and carry on their conversations.

After a few moments Nao spoke, "She's only been gone two months you know?"

This brought Natsuki out of her thoughts. She stopped turning the cup and tried very casually to deflect the subject. "Who?"

"Oh shut the hell up, you know damn well who I'm talking about."

And she did.

* * *

"You're what?!" Natsuki cried at the top of her lungs.

In front of her stood a sheepish looking Shizuru who was fidgeting slightly. They were standing out side of a karaoke bar where they had just got done with one of Mai's "Hime Parties."

"Trouble in paradise?" Came Nao's aggravating voice from behind Natsuki.

Not bothering to turn around Natsuki quietly said, "You shut the hell up Nao."

Mai and everyone else who were currently walking out of the bar stopped and stared for a moment at Natsuki. Nao merely there with her mouth hanging open. Natsuki had never said anything to Nao in such a low voice and no where close to that tone.

Sensing the danger Mai started pushing Nao down the sidewalk. "Time to go Nao, I need some hel-"

There voices faded into the distance as Natsuki stared Shizuru down accusingly.

"You alright Fujino?" came Haruka's gruff voice.

Leaning to the right a bit so she could look Haruka in the eye Shizuru smiled. "No thank you, I'm fine, have a nice night Suzushiro-san, Kikukawa-san!"

Natsuki waited until the retreating footsteps of the other two girls faded into the distance before she continued. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" she asked accusingly.

Shizuru returned her gaze to Natsuki her smile never wavering. "I didn't want to ruin the evening for Natsuki." She tilted her head to side and gave her trademark smile.

Clenching her fists Natsuki growled. _Don't look at me like that…_ After a few moments of inner seething she sighed and made a visible effort to relax, unclenching her fists and bowed her head slightly.

"How long will you be gone?"

Shizuru's smile slowly faded and straightened her head. Lowering her eyes and avoiding Natsuki's accusing ones she said, "The college program lasts about six months… They said that if I do well however it can be extended to eight." She raised her eyes questioningly to Natsuki.

The blue haired girl's eyes were closed and her head still tilted down. Her right hand balled into a fist again. _Six months! And then it's Shizuru so of __**course**__ it's going to be eight! Damn it!_

Silence overtook the two, periodically being broken by a passing car. Shizuru continued to gaze at the top of Natsuki's head questioningly and with a great deal of guilt.

Finally Natsuki let out a long breath and slowly raised her head and met her friends gaze. "Do you need help packing?"

A huge smile appeared on Shizuru's face. "I would love it!"

With that they started walking in the direction the rest of their friends disappeared in. "You **are** gonna call and write, right?"

Giggling could be heard down the street followed by a happy reply. "Of course Natsuki; of course."

"See!? There you go again!" said a very frustrated Nao. "Really, I don't see what the problem is, its not like you two are going out or anything."

Natsuki flinched slightly at Nao's statement. _She's right, its not like we are… a couple. But… _"She hasn't called…" she said to her cup that she was once again turning.

"What?" Nao asked leaning forward.

"She hasn't called in two weeks. She hasn't emailed either."

Nao stared at the other girl a few moments before she burst into laughter.

"What the hell is so funny?!" barked Natsuki.

"You're just too funny Kuga." Fighting the urge to continue laughing and wiping a tear from her eye she took another drink. "Did you ever think about calling her?"

Natsuki returned her gaze to her cup. She _had_ thought about it, in fact she had almost done it a few times but something always held her back. Random thoughts would creep in that kept her from hitting those two buttons on her phone. _What if she was busy? What if she was in class? What if- What if she didn't want to talk to her?_

Natsuki's eyes darkened and her grip on her cup tightened. _What if she found someone… _She closed her eyes. It was Shizuru after all, she had no problem meeting or getting people to like her so finding someone wasn't to far out of the question. _And- and-_

"You know, for someone who claims to care so much about her _friend_," Nao blatantly emphasized the word, "you don't go very much out of your way to keep your _friendship_ going. Not that I'm an expert or anything, but both sides have to do something have to do something. It cant all be her you know. I'm sure by this point she is hoping that **you** will call. She's probably telling herself that it's better if you two don't speak but hoping that **you** will do something."

_Easy for you to say. Not when she's probably-_

"And before you get into another one of your moods." Natsuki looked up. "She **hasn't** found someone else damn it!"

"How the hell would you know!?" Natsuki was surprised to hear her own voice.

Nao began laughing again and Natsuki sat there looking dumbfounded. "You really are great for a laugh you know that Kuga?" Settling down she sat back in her chair her expression becoming serious again. "For that girl, and don't ask me why there is no one else. She looks at you like… Well, I'm not going to go into that but you get the point. Basically, short of a clone of you I doubt anyone can make her forget you."

Natsuki's jaw snapped shut with an audible click when she realized it was hanging open.

"Now," Nao said chucking her cup into a nearby trashcan and grabbing her bag. "I gotta get back to school, I have a final and I don't want to have to repeat a year like some losers." And with that she stood up and walked away, disappearing into the crowd.

Natsuki just sat there and let Nao's words wash over her. After a few moments of doing nothing she pulled her phone out of her pocket and stared at the blank screen for a second before pressing two buttons and raising it to her ear.

After half a ring someone picked up. "Hello?"

Natsuki blinked, not expecting such a fast answer.

Barely able to contain the nervousness in her voice she spoke. "Hi Shizuru."

* * *

There it is, i know its dry but without a lot of inspritation this is all i got though thanx to someone (Lone Wolf) and her/his great doujinshi (i know ispelled that wrong) i was a bit inspired to get back into writing some of these. Anyways for Abandonment readers, there is a very important poll i NEED answered on my profile, details concerning it are on the latest chapter. Other than that SORRY for taking so long to update, i blame other authors for their lack of updates lately lol. As always thanx for reading.

ssjx7squall


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